This house no longer feels like home
by i-could-be-that-clever
Summary: ((Based off the song So Cold by Ben Cocks.)) Oh,you can hear me cry See my dreams all die From where you're standing On your own.It's so quiet here And I feel so cold This house no longer Feels like home. /Implied Wincest.


_((Based off the song. 'So Cold' by Ben Cocks.))_

_Oh,you can hear me cry_  
_See my dreams all die_  
_From where you're standing_  
_On your own._  
_It's so quiet here_  
_And I feel so cold_  
_This house no longer_  
_Feels like home_

Dean let the tears roll down his face as he stood out the salvage yard. He let out a choked sob and tried to keep himself composed. He was to young to have to deal with all of this, Take care of his brother and even his own father. Bobby's house had always been a safe place for him, A place where his dad didn't yell, didn't hit him. Not tonight, John had tried to hit Sam, yelling at the younger brother about how it was all his fault. How if Sam had never been born Mary wouldn't have died all those years ago, Dean had protected Sam, done the job he never applied for, when he was still allowed to be a kid he wanted to be a mechanic just like his dad, wanted to join the family business. 'I guess what I wanted in the end….' he thought to himself as he wiped his eyes. His own words repeated in his head, things he had shouted at Sam when his fathers fists stopped hitting him.

_ God Sam, When the hell are you gonna grow up, You're thirteen years old for fucks sake, you know what I was doing at your age? Hunting and protecting your Dumbass._

~  
_Oh,when you told me you'd leave_

_I felt like I couldn't breath_  
_My aching body fell to the floor_

__Dean remembers when Sam left, he remembers screaming at Sam, telling, begging him not to leave, But Sam wouldn't listen, He told told his older brother to let him go, that is he wanted him to be happy he would just let him go. "Are you just gonna give up on us?!" the older hunter shouted. He knew their relationship was wrong, far from the brothers they were suppose to be, but Dean tried everything. The words that rang from Sams mouth before the door closed still hurt Dean. "I don't need you anymore Dean, Move on.". The older Winchester brother remembers falling to the ground, breaking down in ways that he hadn't in years, sobbing until it hurt to breath, He remembers John picking him up and hugging him, telling him that Sam would come back.

_Then I called you at home_  
_You said that you weren't alone_  
_I should've known better_

_Now it hurts much more._

Dean had held his phone and wanted to call Sam on many occasions, but he never had the balls to press the dial button. One day he hit it, (To this day he still says its an accident.) when Sam answered Deans heart skipped a beat. "Hello?"

"Sammy! Hey…uh…Its Dean."

"Dean?….What do you want? I'm busy." The voice in the background caused the older brother to pause, That was a woman's voice…It was late.

"Nothing." He hung the phone up quickly and rubbed his eyes, looking down at the crappy hotel bed sheets.

_You caused my heart to bleed and_  
_You still owe me a reason_  
_I can't figure out why…_  
_Why I'm alone and freezing_  
_While you're in the bed that she's in_  
_I'm just left alone to cry._

The reason Deans heart kept beating had left and wouldn't tell him why, After that phone call months ago he couldn't bring himself to try to contact him. He went on hunts, alone, laid in bed, alone, drove around the country, all _alone. _Each day made it feel worse, he knew Sam was happy, with someone, enjoying life, and here he was the middle of summer burying himself under covers he wish were warmed with the familiar heat of his brother. Sam had always been so much warmer then him…..He needed to know why he left.

_Oh,you can hear me cry_  
_See my dreams all die_  
_From where you're standing_  
_On your own._  
_It's so quiet here_  
_And I feel so cold_  
_This house no longer_  
_Feels lïke home._

__Years later, many years, Dean laid on the floor of a hotel as he watched Sam leave again. This time choosing a demon over him, another human Dean could handle, at least he could pretend he was happy for his brother, but Sam running off with something they hunted proved to much for the hunter and he yelled after him, tears forming in his eyes. The house he had tried so hard to fix for Sam, and himself had fallen apart again.

"If you walk out that door, don't you ever come back."


End file.
